Fuck this

Saturday, January 9, 2010

For the last three days i didn't restrict as much as i wanted to, but i didnt binge either. So it's good. I'm still drinking plenty of water and I've been doing crunches during my spare time. In the morning, afternoon and in the night. Listening to good music helps. :). Ahh. I'm so tired. Today, I ran 13 miles in 3 hours. It was not my fastest but it sure got me tired. I was on the verge of collapsing since i didn't eat anything. Once I finished i got a piece of banana, granola bar, and 3 pieces of bagel. I was starving. >.<

Good thing winter break is over. I start school on Monday and I'm going back to restricting as much as possible. Argghh.. I'm in pain. My sore legs ache from the run but it was worth every sweat. My stomach looks pretty slimmer now but I really want my hip bones to protrude. That would be a lovely sight :). Not a lot of people have a nice figure in my school and it would be nice if i was one of the few :)
I must hang on. In the end everything will pay off. right. Well, I'm off

Stay strong <3
And never lose sight of your goals. :]

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

In Control :D

ONE DAY.........
Yesterday was very successful.

Half Banana
Candy Cane
3 sticks of doublemint
less than 300 calories. :)

Today's Intake
2 Cups of Coffee
2 sticks of doublemint
& 1/3 of banana.
less than 230 calories. :D

I've been drinking tons of water in the meantime.
It makes you feel full.
Also when my stomach is really growling i just go to sleep.
and yes sleeping works miracles.
It suppresses the hunger for a bit.
Hopefully, I don't have a relapse and start binging.
Lying to your body is easy.
I've notice when you're constantly thinking about food it makes you weak.
Entertain yourself when your bored.
you'll be less tempted.

I found this really cool website
free rice Pictures, Images and Photos
It's a game that helps you increase your knowledge.
Every answer you get right the non-profits website donates 10 grains of rice for the hungry.

Kinda ironic right?.

but yeah check it out! :)

Anyways, Stay strong <3.
Any questions just ask.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

New Expectations.

Time passes so fast. I'm getting old and hardly anything has changed. I still am that fat lard. The holidays weren't so great. I gave in. I gave in!. I hate myself. Now I have to work extra hard to lose the pounds i gained. I'm back to 110. I was doing well when school was in session.I exercise obsessively. Also my thoughts didn't linger to the food in the refrigerator. Of course, since its a new years I have a list of resolutions. I need a breakthrough. I want to weight my lowest by the end of January and if that doesn't work hell will break lose. I also have to change my habits completely and that would take more that control. I was considering severely punishing myself. haha. I still don't know how or what. It's just a thought. I mean this is something I really want since the longest and i wont let nothing or anyone stand in my way. I have completely stop eating meat and turn into a vegetarian.Man, that gives you plenty of excuses to stop eating what's in your plate. I really stuck to it and my diet mostly consist of food with less fat in it. So why cant i shed those forsaken pounds. Its really hard to explain. Mostly because after a day or two without eating properly I end up binging the next effin day. So my efforts are all in vain!. I need to start and watch my intake of calories more closely. I need to exercise everyday. I need to stop binging and find a way to preoccupied my mind so i wont be tempted. Reading might work. If i eat i must burn those calories. I might do the 2468 diet. I need to lose those pounds. I need to be thin. That's all I really need.