Fuck this

Thursday, May 20, 2010

i got a long way to go.

I weigh myself last Sunday and I'm down to 110. Everything is looking up somehow.... Prom was great even though i look disgusting in that dress. I manage to not be self conscious all night. The beer sure helped. :) I've started a new diet and it has worked good for me. In the mornings i drink a cup of tea, during school i eat half an apple and usually if i don't give in to food at night i sleep on an empty stomach but i drink lots of liquid, or if I'm really hungry and my guts are screaming i eat the other half of the apple. I lose weight quick, but my problem is maintaining the steady weight. I've remember being desperate last month and quickly lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks! That is almost a pound each day, but sadly when i ate regularly i gained them faster than when i had lost them. My friend knows about my eating habits and she thinks I'm dumb. Compared to me she is very tall so i hate how she could gain weight and not look any different. I, being 5 foot 1 gain just one pound and there's a big difference. I don't know, but anyways how are you girls hanging? any suggestion, feel welcome to comment. :D

Eva Longoria is a hot one. :)

Friday, May 14, 2010


Not only do I despised my body, I hate my personality completely. I hate everything about myself. I have few friends that actually care about me and i realized my closet friend pities me. I wish i could speak my mind and tell people off. I'm tired of stupid people pushing me around. I'm tired of my family reminding me that I'm getting fat. I'm tired of eating to comfort myself. I'm tired for causing pity all the time. Gosh, I think I'm just emotional today. Nothing comes out as planned for me and sometimes i feel like I'm alone in this world. If only I was stronger. :/

Thursday, May 13, 2010

It's been a while.

not me. pshh. but i wish.
Senior year is almost ending. Prom is only two days away and I've giving up. I reached my highest weight 119 and i look disgusting in my dress. I don't know what happened. oh, no i know what happened. I've been eating like a pig. I deserved it. I want to hide in a cave and never come out. I want to rip my stomach open and take all the the fat away.. lol i kid i kid. But the good news is that I'm back. I'll do my best to keep my progress up to date. So expect more from me. :)